English Vinglish

Last night, my wife and I watched the Hindi movie "English Vinglish". A very simple story line which puts the family system in India.
The Husband: Well educated and English-speaking. He is successful in career and works hard. He likes his family and always comes home for dinner. He ignores his wife during work hours. At home, too, he is friendly with wife, but doesn't show a lot of affection. He hugs his colleagues in public, but doesn't think about it for his wife. He jokes about his wife's passion for cooking, albeit, she feels his intention is to demean her.
The Wife: A simple woman in her 30s. She gets up in the morning and does all the daily chores in kitchen. She readies tiffin for school. She knows her limitation of english language but is very comfortable with her Hindi, which she uses everywhere. She loves her children and husband. She is liked by her mother-in-law too and have cordial relations.
Elder Daughter: Smart and outgoing. Studies well. Is friendly with her friends. Doesn't like her mother because she can't speak English. She uses sentences that hurt her mother but she doesn't care about them.
Younger Son: The good 4-5 year old who likes his mom and loves to be around her all the time. Is very friendly to her and source of her entertainment.

Her struggle to get respect from her own family members is put bare and naked. A family she loves a lot. She even promotes the concept of family to others. Her own happiness is last in her priority.
She understands her own weakness and tries to overcome it by learning English. She does it to get her own pride and respect back.
She meets other people like her who are also facing respect-deficit due to their less knowledge of English. She finds herself at ease with them and that gives her confidence boost.

There are a few Dialogues that make people think:
I'm an Indian Wife. Now I don't need Love, I just need some respect.
Why do kids disown me? What have we done to deserve that?

Overall, a very good movie to watch if you are one of the normal indian middle class family.

Rape and Khap

In the last one month, there have been 14 rape cases reported in the state of Haryana. The solution to this according to some of the village elder is to marry the girl early. I wonder how can they think like that? Is the rape by husband not a rape?
They even want the marriageable age of the girl child to be reduced to 16.  A 16-year old girl is mature physically, but she is not mentally prepared for marriage and the toil that goes with it. And who are these guys who will marry these young girls? In most cases, they'll be double the girl's age.
The reason the number of rape cases have increased is due to the non-availability of girl for marriage. And why does India have this problem? Because the concept of female foeticide is prevalent in the country.
Another reason to the increased number is the fact that many people can scare the law-personnel and get away with bribing, threatening or absconding.
The reason for the increased number of cases being reported is that the girls have become more stronger mentally to take on the male domination and reporting to the law. They know very well that they'll be harassed and embarrassed publicly after reporting it. Today's women find themselves more ready to face the society and their so-called protectors.
In Hindu Mythology, the goddess represents a serene and divine Saraswati or Laxmi and at the other extreme is Goddess Durga, who mauls the Rakshaas. I can only pray to Goddess Durga that this time she does take care of the Rakshaas in India and bring back the glory to the country.

Hopes

I had heard this story when I was a kid.
There was a school in a small village. The students who were studying there were poor. Rachana was teaching in the school. Suresh was a 5 year old boy in her class.
One day Rachana took her class to the beach. Suresh and his friends started to play on the beach. Suresh found a shell. He started telling his friends that he has found a pearl and that he will sell it and become rich. When Rachana saw him telling this, she told him that the chance of pearl in that shell is very low.
Suresh showed the shell to his grandfather and told him that he has found a pearl. The old man smiled to him and said indeed you have found a pearl. Suresh became very happy and went to play.
Rachana was a realistic person. She confronted the old man and said that the chance of the shell having a pearl is one in a million so why is he raising the hope of the small boy. The old man replied that, indeed the chance of having pearl in the shell were very low, but it was not zero. Sometimes, there are only hopes that a person can live by; and the hopes need not be broken before time.
Whenever I get into a situation that looks difficult and outcome are dim, I am reminded of this story.
How true that Sometimes there are only hopes that a person can live by.

Win and Lose

Last night India won the cricket match but still could not go to the next round of the tournament because of lower run rate. There are some situations when the outcome is one and the result is other way around. The win or lose is not bitter. These are happily accepted results.
When you fall in love, you win a companion and get love. You lose your independence. You are still very happy.
When you leave your most loved cookie for your son or daughter or for that matter anything you like and let your kids have it. You lose your favorite stuff for the smile and happiness of your kids. You are more happy.
When you leave the seat on the bus for an elderly woman and she smiles and says Thanks. You lose your seat, but you win the happiness of being of help and of the sweet smile from the lady; as well as the admiration of all the other people in the bus.
You and your friends are arguing over some trivial things. If you keep winning the arguments, you'll slowly start losing your friends.
You don't have to win in all situations. There are times when losing is actually WINNING.

Gadgets And Kids

In today's household in India, especially Bangalore, you'll find a lot of electronic devices. We have now grown to like different devices and use them for different purposes. Gadgets like mobile, TV, iPad, laptop, computers, have become a part of our daily life. So much so, they have become a part of our children's lives.

Today was a holiday for us on account of birthday of our father of nation, Mahatma Gandhi. Everyone was at home. My son woke up at 8 AM and first thing he wanted was the TV. I had to force him to brush and drink milk; which he did after much persuasion and crying.

As soon as the milk was half finished, he ran downstairs to watch youtube on the laptop. He was glued to it till 10:30 when my father had to go and feed him. He finished eating while watching the rhymes and poems on youtube.

We had to force him to come for lunch at 1 PM. He finished lunch while watching TV. He was back in front of the laptop by 2 PM and looked at it till 5:30 when my wife told him that we are going out. We were not really going out, so he wanted iPad. He was glued to the iPAD for half hour playing puzzles and temple run.

Finally, I had to pull the ipad away, put sandals on his feet and take him for a walk. He cried and pleaded not to go.

Now, the laptop is hidden, ipad is in the cupboard, the PC is switched off, and the mobile is under password. Only TV is on because my father is watching Cricket match. Tomorrow, the cable connection has to go.

Then only the kids will start reading, and talking to people and learn some good things from grand parents.

Were the non-electronic days better? 

In Memory

During our life, we make many friends. Friends from neighbourhood, school friends, college friends, office friends, and so on. As we move from one place to the other, the communication reduces till we go out of touch.
Somewhere deep down, once in a while, you want to know how the old buddies are doing. Who are they married to? How many kids do they have? What are they working on? and so on. You hope for their best and feel proud and happy.
These thoughts were running through my mind while I sat on the terrace of my house drinking tea on a beautiful evening. I guess it's the cloud and rain that takes you back on the memory lane.
I think ALL my friends are still In Memory.

Keeping Talent

It has become increasingly difficult to hold back good talented people in the company. I have wondered why this happens.
I believe that the good talented people are not working only for money. Having said that it is also incorrect to assume that they don't have need for money. They would like to be properly compensated for their work without discrimination or partiality. They don't want more than they deserve, they won't take less either.
I believe that the good talented people work because they want to work. They will immerse themselves in the work at hand and take full charge of the problem and situation. They'll work hard and expect the team members and associates to work hard with them. If they find anyone relaxing and not sharing the burden of the tasks, they'll switch off very quickly.
I believe that the good talented people will share the work load of their team mates. They are always ready to help. This nature stands them apart in any team. Talented people only doing their work are working for money and fame, but not as a cohesive unit.
I believe that good talented people who lead a project make success of the project provided they get at least one such person in their team.